dubai

Having had a little rant about the dearth of spas or spa treatments at airports – places we have all the time in the world with very little to do except buy stuff we don’t really want, I was thrilled to see a huge on at Dubai airport yesterday. Oh woe, alas, alack – it might be a lovely spa – huge, airy and spacious but the treatments are sooo expensive…a minimum of 25 minutes for $50. And you only have access to it if you’re travelling business or first. Although you could have your nails polished for $9 – only polished mind you. It makes both BA and Virgin seem like the milk of human kindness.

For anybody following this…let me assure you it is not I who will running the London Marathon but my half demented partner Sara P who already has problems with her knees…I will be celebrating her taking to the road…with just another massage…

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This blog may take on an interesting twist having just heard I have secured a place in next year’s London Marathon. Whilst this was not confirmed I could kid myself it wasn’t happening – but now it is, well that’s a very different matter. Eddie Izzard eat your heart out! I am going to need my massages more than ever and they will cease being a treat or indulgence but a sheer necessity to keep me on the go. Six years ago I had never run beyond the end of the road, five years ago the prospect of doing the Great North Run ( half marathon) was monumental – have now done two, and three years ago today I was little more that six weeks away from doing the NY Marathon. So, I know what I’m talking about when I wonder what madness has got into me and propelled me to apply to run London – and now there is no going back! I am tempted to keeping writing but I need to put on my kit and get pounding the pavements……………….

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WORLD’S CHEAPEST MASSAGE?

Just so this blog is not seen as too elitist I thought I would share details of the cheapest (non-beach) massage I have found anywhere in the world . You do need to find yourself in downtown Kigali (capital of Rwanda) at the Novotel where an hour’s Swedish-style massage was £10. Having spent time staying in the city where the showering facilities were limited the chance to have a massage in order to have a shower was too good to miss. That being said, the massage was extremely good even if the rather brisk rub down to remove excess oil with possibly the roughest towels ever was interesting! As was the wall socket which hung rakishly loose and intermittently powered the fan.

THE ‘AMATEUR’ JO-SENT-ME

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zurich

Am leaving for Zurich for a couple of days to walk in seriously good air and am just thinking of the last time I visited…it was pure, unadulterated indulgence. I was going to review the spa at the Dolder Grand – as its name suggests an imposing fin de siecle hotel which has been jazzed up and extended by Richard Rogers. The spa is in the extension and is as modern as tomorrow – they have even made a meditation walk funky and up-to-date. Anyway the pampering began as soon as I was picked up by the hotel limo at the airport (feel my pain), and the driver handed me a card with instructions on how to organise my massage en route. Yup, the car seats were massage chairs. I could have a full back massage, a neck and shoulder version or a type of shiatsu all with different pressures- sadly the 20 minute journey didn’t allow time t.o experience all three, but I can assure you it’s a glorious way to travel

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tummy therapy

Many spas, or is it therapists(?) rarely go near the stomach when massaging – and in fact many clients don’t want their stomachs touched, unless it’s with the wing of a butterfly which is of no use at all. The Chinese, as in many other areas, have got stomach massage right. It’s known as Chi Nei Tsang and it is a massage with a message. No Traditional Chinese Medical therapist would pussyfoot about when giving this treatment, they dive straight in with fingers prodding and poking and using strong strokes around and across the stomach. It can be painful – but then it gets everything going, all those organs huddled together in mid-body are separated and revitalised. To the Chinese the stomach is the centre of energy which is why this is such an important element of their treatments.

If you’re a tad squeamish about going hardcore to begin with, then head for the Ushvani Day Spa in London’s Cadogan Gardens where the Signature Massage includes a good strong stomach massage. Most of the treatments available here are based on traditional Malayasian and Indonesian therapies – both of which have been influenced by the Chinese. It’s a very calming place to visit and entering it is rather like visiting one of the better girls’ schools with its dark carved wood and hush everywhere. Indeed I expected to see Margaret Rutherford in a tweed suit at the top of the stairs, not a slip of a thing in traditional therapist wear.

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THE NEW SPA AT THE DORCHESTER


Went for a massage with my daughter on Bank Holiday Monday. First time back at the Dorchester Spa since its make-over in May which was MASSIVELY overdue. Now a vision of shining whiteness – very feminine – although, probably slightly off-putting for a chap wanting a bit of pampering. Still we enjoyed it. Excellent Swedish massage and, as someone in perpetual search of a decent scalp massage, pretty damn good! Very comfy bed, heated pillow popped as neck support when turning over and nice, weighty eye mask to keep out the light. Slightly irritating muzak and deeply annoying fire alarm trial which had me catapulting off the bed as if touched with an electronic cattle prod (worth noting this happens twice each Monday afternoon at 3.30 – AVOID).

THE ‘AMATEUR’ JO-SENT-ME!

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airports

Airports are turning into some of the most stressful places on the planet – which is why WE NEED MORE SPAS in them. Elemis have two at Terminal 5 and one in JFK – and while they are uber-relaxing you can only access them if you’re travelling Business or First. If you are one of the chosen few then head for a pre-flight treatment, they only take 15 minutes and you choose whichever part of your body needs attention – arms, feet, face, back. I love the Shoulder and Scalp special. Best of all you get to relax in the most amazing massage chair ever invented – it’s called an Intelligent Massage Chair and is something you would buy if you had a windfall .You can’t book in advance, just turn up once you’ve checked in and put your name on the list.I long for more airports to be like the one in Bangkok where there is a plethora of massage, manicure and beauty places. The best on offer is the Oxygen head and shoulder massage – 20 minutes for five dollars and an ideal pick-me-up after a long flight. You straddle a special chair and while your head, shoulders and neck are massaged you breathe pure oxygen from a special tube up your nose. Only downside is that at the end of the treatment the plastic tube delivering the oxygen leaves an impression on your face of something resembling Salvador Dali’s moustache!

You get some pretty strange looks…but who cares, you feel great

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meditation

For some years now I have been advised in spas, retreats, wellness centres, health clinics to meditate. And I have listened and taken note. Believe me I have had classes, guidance, advice in temples in Thailand, ashrams in India and tried TCM in the comfort of my own sitting room. I have talked at length to friends and acquaintances who meditate and quiz them on how they manage – when and where.

And believe me I have tried – sometimes for weeks on end, sometimes for months, but in the end sheer frustration at my own inability to be calm defeats me.

I have read all the research on the benefits to health of meditation – lowering blood pressure etc etc…and yet…I give up. And yes I have read Eat, Pray, Love and sympathised so much but really cannot find the time to spend a month at an ashram.

I have started again…in my own little way…and no I don’t do candles, incense, Tibetan bells et al…I don’t even sit in the lotus position

Any advice out there?

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superchicks

Cat Dugdale and Georgie Thompson are two true super chicks – Cat is a full time trainer and Georgie has a day job as a Sky Sports presenter. Together they set up Iamsuperchick training programmes by girls for girls. They operate mostly in London parks – and the occasional nightclub, but next month they are launching fitness videos which you can use alongside on-line training programmes and interactive personalised diaries.

I know how good they are for there are very people who could get me running around Hyde Park at seven o’clock in the morning – for a start I can’t run. But I signed up for their week long Little Black Dress programme and punished my body in the early hours for a whole week. Did I feel better – you bet, once I’d stopped aching.

If you can’t get to their park practices, or don’t want to spend a fortune getting fit check out iamsuperchick.com and get off the sofa…

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mandarin oriental

It’s taken them a little time to get there…but Mandarin Oriental hotels have finally recognised their Asian provenance and introduced a whole series of new therapies to their spas, based on the tenets of Traditional Chinese Medicine.

I’m a great fan of TCM in all its elements, although I’m thrilled you can now get the herbal cures in tablet form, rather than boiled up pond life which you had to smell and drink. And while I’m still not sure about Cupping, if a practitioner said I needed it I would give it a whirl.

What Mandarin has done is simplified the therapies and slightly westernised the consultation procedure. This is turn is based on the balancing of the body’s yin and yang (just out of interest, my yang is almost permanently out of control) you have to do is fill in a simple questionnaire which is them examined by the therapist and a particular massage based on the meridians, is prescribed for you.

Best of all, depending on what your type is you are despatched afterwards with suggestions of which foods to avoid and which foods are healing for you often with some simple exercises.

A new twist on one of the oldest medical disciplines on earth…

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